Getting rammed by a middle aged woman with a sizable strap-on cock. (Plus, my take on service.)

Smack! Smack! Smack! Smack!

“From now on, you’ll remember that Mistress does not like hard massages.” Smack! her palm came down on my ass cheek again, this time the left one. “What will you remember?”

“Mistress doesn’t like hard massages!”

“That’s correct. Now try again.” Continue reading

Craigslist, OkCupid, and ALT.com have a threesome.

Craigslist is the dude who swears he and your cousin are best buds, who gives a fake I.D. to the bouncer (but you aren’t sure whether it’s because he’s underage or a wanted felon), and then takes his shirt off and hits on girls relentlessly all night.

OkCupid is the sorority chick who just sits at the bar on her iPhone, but is constantly glancing up in the hopes of catching someone checking her out.

Meanwhile, ALT.com, the older gentleman who orchestrated the whole party, spends the night sober and mingling politely, passing out name tags, swapping business cards, and telling both the men and the women about his sexual fetish for pony play. Continue reading