I can hear him cackling. I can see his eyes glinting out between licks of a Hellish flame as he mutters incantations of “Ingrown hair…stubble…inflammation…That will surely stop her from having too much fun.”
Come to think of it, though, the Devil should really be on my side, considering all the depraved shit my itchy pussy and I get into. God’s got the more conservative bent, I hear.
Regardless of which deity is throwing curses at my vagina, there is one thing of which I’m certain: my vagina is cursed. Either I have the most stubborn, thick, painful pubic hair growth on the face of the Earth, or hair-removal product advertisers are slightly exaggerating the effectiveness of their product. (But there’s some sort of advertising code of integrity, so they, like, totally tell the truth, right? …Right?)
I shaved a week and a half ago for Hawai’i and Rocket Man, and I am just now getting to the point where I could shave without much carry-over irritation. That shit is not just annoying or itchy, it is downright painful. My crotchal region flares up in nasty red bumps and suspicioius-looking ingrown hairs that are sometimes a bigger aesthetic affront than the hair itself. And this is with special shaving cream and a nice double-edged safety razor, too (which are consistently lauded for their effectiveness on sensitive skin).
There is a whoooole ‘nother potential blog post regarding why in the hell I subscribe to this idiotic pube gender norm in the first place. Spoiler: I wish I didn’t feel the need to shave — like this commendable blogger — but I am not strong enough to resist the social pressure to conform (pressure that is sometimes quite patent, as with my explicit instructions from Hawai’i to shave Brazilian).
Woe is me. Gather ’round, all, gather ’round to pity the cultural lemming.
Do any readers struggle with down-there care? What method has done the best job of mollycoddling your sensitive skin? Please help.
If you don’t shave/wax, do you feel unspoken or spoken pressure to do so?