The Devil is trying to take me down, and he’s using razor burn to do it.

I can hear him cackling. I can see his eyes glinting out between licks of a Hellish flame as he mutters incantations of Ingrown hair…stubble…inflammation…That will surely stop her from having too much fun.”

*cackle cackle cackle*

“It’s working…”               *cackle cackle cackle*

Come to think of it, though, the Devil should really be on my side, considering all the depraved shit my itchy pussy and I get into. God’s got the more conservative bent, I hear. Continue reading

Wine, cheese, and rimjobs: My first scene with a married Dom couple.

I pulled my old clunker up to a beautiful suburban condo overlooking the water.

“Welcome, welcome!” Rocket Man said cheerfully as he opened the heavy front door. “Come on in!”

Photographs of babies, pets, and vacation spots followed me up the staircase and into a crisp, rather mod living room. Placed tastefully around the room were what looked to the layman’s eye like Japanese art. In the center of the room stood a 7-foot-tall bamboo tripod structure, the top bound in rope and suspending a large metal ring. I had a feeling I knew who was going to be tied to that tripod. Continue reading

It’s always handy to have a cock around. (Plus: fake orgasms and STDs!)

My Convenient Cock (one of my two roommates) is back, and I’m doin’ a happy-dance over here!

Some OkCupid bitch (read: interesting, attractive, girlfriend-material young woman) was stealing his attention for a while, but it looks like she’s fallen off the map a bit, and Convenient Cock is no longer trying to will a relationship into existence by abstaining from our fuck sessions. Continue reading

Latex gloves and bourgie threesomes.

To clarify: no, it hasn’t happened yet. But I’m revving up for (finally!) a play date with Hawai’i (her) and Rocket Man (him), the Domme/switch couple I messaged with on ALT.com.

I got together with them over drinks and dinner a little while ago, and was blown away. First of all, their photo didn’t do them justice. Yes, they’re in their 40s no matter which way you swing it. But, shit, they’re aged like a fine ass wine. I was attracted. Box #1: checked.

Better every year, baby.

Better every year, baby.

Continue reading