For all the adventures I’ve stumbled into, you’d think I would have had phone sex by now. Well, I think I can count today as the first. …Does it count if he didn’t let me finish?
A. wanted to be on the phone with me while I did a session of orgasm control. That way he has control over what I do with my pussy and when I do it. And shit, it was hot. He helped slow me down so I didn’t get carried away like last time. He made me start with slow, gentle touches and move up in intensity a bit a time. When I started getting too far, he’d say, “No. Stop. I want you to take a few deep breaths, and then we’ll start slowly again.” He told me how good of a job I was doing.
I won’t repeat how absolutely agonizing it is to back off repeatedly from orgasm and never get release, yet how your body wants you to do it again anyway. If you haven’t before, go try it or read my previous post.
Why is it that I get so aroused by my partner being (or seeming, at least) dispassionate, self-composed, and really quite patronizing? I get off when feeling like I am the object of a lesson, examination, experiment, or demonstration. Or simply that I am being given a helping hand by someone who is not drawing any sexual pleasure from the act himself. I am the vulnerable one, subject to whatever he decides ought to be done to my body. If I perceive the dominant person as being carried away with their own emotions/pleasure, some of their credibility diminishes. (Perhaps this is unfair; I know I find it impossible to maintain composure myself.)
Does anyone reading relate to this?
This really has nothing at all to do with punishment, which is often what first comes to mind for a lot of people, outsiders at least, when they hear “kink” or “BDSM.”
Final bit, and just because it makes me smile (in the most self-indulgent way)… A. says that he learns a lot about a sub through orgasm control. When asked what he’s learned about me so far, he replied:
Well, some things I’ve learned I won’t want to tell you right away, because it might diminish some of the experiences I’m planning for you. But I can certainly tell you a few things later. The obvious things are that you are intelligent, curious, adventurous, courageous, and playful. While you are independent and capable, you have a few subtle insecurities that give you a desire to please. And your deep submissive streak makes you want to follow and be controlled by someone stronger/more experienced than yourself, at least in the areas in question. Physically, I can’t wait to play with you because your erogenous zones are very sensitive. Should provide hours of entertainment. 🙂
I am very much looking forward to (but exceedingly nervous for) meeting in person.